We always say this: Parenting is not an easy job to do, especially when it comes to tweens and teens.. When kids want something, they try to get it, and as a parent, it gets tricky to deal with these situations. But while tackling these every day parenting issues, parents make some vital mistakes. Here are a few of them that parents should not be repeating in the coming year. Trust me, doing so will be the best Christmas gift that you will be giving your kids.
1. Expecting the worst
Parents acquiescence to the stereotype that there is nothing that they can do about their kids transformation during teenage, and they can only watch their kids turn into some unpredictable monsters. The problem is that we consider kids to be doing “good”, only when they don’t do “bad” things like drugs, having underage sex, or hanging out with the wrong people.
Believing all that aforementioned results in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Negative expectations can, and actually does, lead to a negative outcome, because there isn’t effort that’s done to minimise the consequences of an anomaly.
What can you do? Focus on your kids hobbies and activities, even if you don’t find an explanation to them. This will open a new channel of communication that will help you reconnect with your kids.
2. Reading too many books on parenting
Another big mistake that parents do is not to trust their instincts and turn to experts for help. Trying to follow an advice from a book can tie them to knots of relying on others for a solution. They are your kids, and no one can better tell you how to deal with them. You just need to trust yourself.
It’s not that you shouldn’t read parenting books, it just is that you don’t to rely on them. Parents can help themselves or their kids if they start to replace innate skills with books.
Surely, use books to get some perspective on your kids’ behavior, but after that, just trust yourself with what you want for your family.
3. Sweating over petty issues
Maybe you want your kids to participate in the play or to have a certain type of haircut. But perhaps, you need to know what can and what cannot influence their personality. For example, if your kid wants to colour their hair or get a haircut of their choice, it’s not going to have far-reaching effects. The hair will grow again. But if your kid wants to have a tattoo, that’s something to worry about. Sweat yourself on the right things. If something is not putting your kids to risk, let them have it as a part of their growth phase. Protecting kids from realities of lives can make them vulnerable, and possibly, they would miss on vital opportunities for learning.
4. Ignoring bigger issues
Parents can get caught up so much in the smaller issues regarding their kids that it can lead to ignoring bigger issues. For example, resenting and forcing your kids not to colour their hair, but giving no attention at all to their alcohol or abuse.
Watch for strange changes in the behaviour of your teen. This might include, alienation, academic performance, appearance etc. If you find bottles of cough medicine hidden in your kids’ room, or if medicines disappear from your cabinet, it could possibly mean a potential drug abuse their your kid is undergoing.
Work on these mistakes of yours and you would be much better at dealing with your kids this coming year.
Have a Happy Christmas and New year!
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