When conflicts between parents and kids uproar, the usual onset of alienation and segregation, between the two, starts to appear. Parents presume that their kids need to learn manners and therefore, the only solution to that is by not communicating with them, cutting on their pocket money, or deprive them of their cell phone or iPad. This isn’t only an inappropriate attitude but is also impediment towards the long term relationship with your kids. If your kid is showing aggressive behaviour, prefers to stay alone or with friends, or just is not doing good at all with the school grades, then you really need to read the following.
Take a look at these 4 important explanations of why you shouldn’t “hate” your kids for their poor behaviour and what’s the best form of reciprocation.
Your kids’ poor behaviour is not usually related to hormonal changes
The notion of hormones playing a part in the social behaviour of a person is not a historical concept. Even the entire idea of adolescence only dates back to the twentieth century.
Teenagers’ poor decision making cannot be linked to their hormones without making a scientific reasoning, but it can be surely related to their brain’s undergoing development. This is something that parents can’t do anything about, except to patiently persevere. But it’s something that would come to your child with age. You teenagers will always acquiesce to the accusations of hormonal imbalances because it provides them a reason to behave inappropriately even after when they are mentally acute.
Your kids never stop loving you unless….
If kids show feelings of hatred and anxiety towards parents, it’s not because they want to build the divide, but it’s because kids want to reciprocated with love and affection for their anxiety and aggressiveness. Rather than parents doing the same, they need to go easy on their kids and tell them that “We are always with you, whenever you need us”. Your kids can either come close to you during their puberty or can stray away, depending on how you treat their misbehaviour.
Don’t use negative reinforcement on your kids
We have said that before on our blog, and we will say it again, negative reinforcement is never going to work every time. Here a few example of how parents use negative reinforcement:
- “No more phones till you get an A”
- “You are grounded for a month, no more parties”
Negative reinforcement is only helpful when parents when to achieve short-term goals. For example:
- “You can go out after you finish your homework and show it to me”
- “You have an exam tomorrow, no unnecessary internet browsing”
They deserve freedom even after making mistakes
Excessive trying at coordinating and directing your kids’ actions can be very peculiar to their development. When kids enter their adolescence, they expect some freedom, or maybe even more than that. Don’t stop your teens from going out on parties, or for night-overs, unless, you have some serious reason. If your kid has not been able to show the best behaviour, they still deserve another, or maybe, many more chances, until, they learn how to be responsible adults. Amidst of all that, you can’t leave kids on their own. Use a smartphone monitoring app like TrackMyFone that will let you know about all of your kids’ cell phone-related activities.
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